Listening to the song "Behind blue eyes", it suddenly occured to me how powerful music is. It can connect people who do not have any clue about others. They just instinctively sing along with the melody. From strangers, we all sing the common language, say the common language and share the common purpose: to halt our lives for a couple of minutes to have a temporary moment of being free from our different duties. Music, indeed, plays an indispensable role in our life. It shapes our sentiments. Some songs send a conciliatory tone when we feel down, others make us jump even higher in the hype of elation. Without songs, our life would be as empty as vaccum. Our ears would soon become deaf and apathetic to even a slight noise. However, that dystopia is not going to happen with the unstoppable proliferation of music nowadays. Thank you singers, composers and music producers for giving our ears a purpose.
I have been chatting with my girlfriends for 2 consecutive days. As we deepen ourselves in a long-winded conversation, I suddenly realize a 3-year relationship has turned us to be mind readers. Before I could type something out and press "enter", she already sent a smiley emoticon with the message on my mind. There are roughly 40 days left before the day we wished to come 10 months ago will come. I really hope our relationship will go somewhere. We have all planned out our future, how we will spend our time together in June, how I will meet her in the US and even more. My wish has become simpler than ever: everything goes according to plan. Oh, love...
I have learnt one more lesson about myself. It occured during the session when my Economic tutor asked us to give feedback to him. For those who do not know about my Economic tutor, here is a brief introduction: nobody in my class likes him. If you ask someone who know me well about how I think of him, they will definitely give you a shocking answer, an answer that no one would expect a person as playful and innocent (on the surface) as me could possibly say that. However, things changed 180 degrees on that day. Instead of glaring at him as usual, I felt sorry for him. I imagined how he would feel when he read all the negative comments everyone will give him. It would be a sad moment, even the saddest in a teacher's life. In the letter I sent to him, I wrote both about positive and negative aspects of his. However more than just giving mere comments, I set a placating tone on my message to make it less daunting. I told him that many people would get too emotional and they would be blinded away from giving fair comments, so he ought not to take them too seriously. I guess all of this is condensed into one word: sympathy. Is it always good to be sympathetic to someone who is in unfortunate situation? Whatever the answer is, it is hard to resist to do so... At least everyone knows by now that I can't hate anyone. Oh my God, this is gonna be horrendous to me...
I am glad I can scribble some words today. To conclude my blog, I want to say 2 things. Firstly, opportunities come and go. Grab it while you still can. Secondly, something about love. I have seen people falling to a pithole because of love, but others flying to heavan because of love. Love is a double-edged knife. It is how to make the other less sharp that matters. Everyone will have their own ways to deal with it. I also have my strategies. And I think I am talking crap right now... Ok, for those who are still hiding behind trees and peeking at your girls with a telescope, MAKE A MOVE once FAVORABLE, as I said "opportunities come and go". For those who are already in a relationship, cherish every single moment you have with your love and don't drag both of you down on a bottomless cliff. Have fun and good luck!
Happy Labour Day
P/S. No one can say that my blog is decrepit.
The journey with you in the past 6 months left an indelible mark on our heart and soul.
It started at the moment when you first told us we would dance with plates - real plates. We felt a deep sense of anxiety together with curiosity. We wondered how we could ever manage to carry the plates properly, not even talk about dancing with it. However, when the heaviest fog lay ahead, you came to enlighten us.
Your dance - our dance - is always the best. The judges wouldn't drop their jaws when they looked at us without your marvelous choreography. We would not feel graceful when we danced without your superb movements. We wouldn't have deep passion for the dance without your meaningful message. We wouldn't be a complete family without you.
You brought us guy and laughter during training. You remained patient when we did our steps wrongly. You helped us get ourselves into correct shape and posture. You cared for us when we trained exhaustively. You...[you know what we are going to say, don't you:)].
SYF has passed but we still vehemently overwhelmed with our achievement. Some of us will say goodbye at the end of this year, some will continue to dance Malay dance. However, none of us will say goodbye to you. How can we possibly be ready for that? There is a famous say "Once a family, always a family". Indeed, you are part of our unbreakable family. Always.
Our journey may start when the plates were placed on our palms, but it will never end as we will always be together, side by side.
Cikgu, we all love you very much
Best wishes,
NJC Malay Dance.
It was my first letter today. I believe it was the only one that I could put my entire heart on it. Sadly, there were a few who read it hastily, even stopped in the middle. I suddenly felt a nudge at my heart...
Again, I was not able to blow a fresh wind to my obsolete blog. I remember I used to ask myself whether I should raze it instead of keeping feeding it with a torpor tone. My friends urged me to write something to bring back the meaningful purpose of a blog – a platform where I can share my sentiments and reflections about my very own life. Well, I suppose I have no valid reason to refute this premise. It is true I have a long list of emotions and today, I will pick up a few most noteworthy points to share with everyone.
I can say with great confidence that I have met the extreme of tiredness and the zenith of lethargy after one week of so-called “holiday”. I once believed “holiday” was derived from 2 separate words “holy” and “day”, i.e. the days when everyone celebrated the joy of free from stress. These sacred days would not occur frequently and the word “holy-day” or “holiday” was come about. After the March holiday, however, it was so drastic that it turned my beliefs upside-down. From waiting earnestly for the holy-day to come, I nodded unwillingly at the Metallica’s song “The day that never comes” That is one side of the story. On the other hand, I suddenly appreciated “rest” more than ever. I found out a surprising piece of news in the Internet that inadequate sleep would impair brain’s function and result in decrease in IQ level in human. Rest is important because it enables your brain to work properly and to think more critically and reflectively. I found it astoundingly true. I was overwhelmed with study, work and CCA for the past few months and there were rarely any breaks for me to spend time with me. That may possibly attribute to the fact that I did not take a good care of my blog. I am glad that I have halted myself for a couple of minutes to write this blog, so that I won’t have to look back with a poignant nudge in my heart that keeps telling me “I should have…”
Facing a dearth of time, which one should I rank higher: schoolwork, CCA, LS, SAT… Hang on! Does it look too much? Does it look like I am trying to exhaust myself rather than exploit it? I can’t answer that question. SAT is of paramount importance because I can’t achieve my precious dream without it. I can’t abandon CCA because I am simply a zealous member of the team. LS is where I learn how to perform professionally in workplace in later life. Lastly, schoolwork is where everything starts. All of these elements coalesce when I am 17 and saturate my mind. Prioritizing is necessary at this stage but how to decide which one to relegate and which one to promote. Obviously, schoolwork is always at the top position, followed closely by SAT. Unfortunately, I could not come to a conclusive decision between CCA and LS. What should I do next year? Maybe I need a peaceful mind and a far-sighted eye to explore this problematic quandary. Help…Negative attitude won’t solve anything. Maybe sometimes, I should take a rest, go somewhere far to think about my life, to consider goals over grades, shouldn’t I?
Self-development is crucial, but relationship is equally imperative. Family, friendship and love. I want to devote the last part of my blog to talk about this. Family – the one who never turns its back against you. Friendship – the one who never fail my trust. Love – the one who I can’t live without. They encourage me to forget misery to pursue my dreams, give me transient moment of peaceful mind but lasting lots of memorable events. Father, mother, dudes (you know who I am referring to) and (please!). I thank you all. Distrust all of you is the last thing I will ever do in this life.
Hi everyone,
It has been quite some time since the last time I blogged. The blog has been silenced for a long period and many people have blamed me for not keeping it alive. I feel terribly shameful for not being able to fulfill my responsibility as its owner. This is exactly why I have come to a groundbreaking decision: it is time to awake it so it can serve its meaningful purposes once more. As its rightful owner, I promise I will not abandon it again.
This year will witness many revolutionary events in my life. First of all, giving up is the last thing I will think of in everything I do. This is because if I give up, I give myself a reason to point to the mirror and shout out: "you are even worse than a kid". Do you know why I say so. Everything started with the first lesson: how to walk. To a one-year-old kid, learning how to walk is the most challenging lesson he has ever encountered. He does cry sometimes because he feels painful when he falls down, but when he is able, for the first time, to stand straight resolutely, he opens wide his mouth and sprouts out a smile - an unmistakable mark of satisfaction and happiness. Similarly, I also taste the flavor of failure and success many times. However, why should I surrender to all the difficulties when a little kid can face his greatest obstacles and eventually overcome it (even some of the difficulties now I encounter are not the hardest)? Why should I halt myself for a couple of hours to give myself a nudge of regret in my heart for a lifetime? It is determination and faith that matters here. If you ever think of waving a white flag, I suggest you should start everything again with the first lesson: perambulate firmly on the ground.
Secondly, moving away from a memorable childhood, I need to prepare for the biggest jump of my life: entering the adulthood. It is not going to be a smooth transition but it is inevitable. I must undergo brainwash to get rid of all ridiculous characters: dependence, being irresponsibility, dishonesty,... If I continue to be a person who satisfied all characters above, I have already bought a one-way ticket to the outside land, where no one knows about your existence. It is time to leave back all the nonsense that used to make sense. It is time to be an independent person that would make my life less dependent. It is time to move out of the circle of protection to purchase a ring that protects you. It is time to be man, not a boy. I know one day I will wish to be a boy again but at least it is not a kind of wish that you want bring back time to make a change. There are more complicated steps to truly be an adult but preparing mentally is always a step that needs to be taken first.
Thirdly, I have visualized how this year will look like to me. Choosing career, picking universities, developing characters and on top of all, studying are the main factors that will affect my decision, my lifestyle and my personalities. Many may think it is too soon to get yourself busy. I think differently. If you do not start now, when is the right time to kick off? The sooner you start, the more mistakes or weak areas that you will discover and hence necessary amendments can be taken on time. Time is not limitless but gaining control of time will give you unlimited opportunities to be the winner.
I will go the kind of school I want, enjoy the kind of career I love, and it will all have started with the relatively few hours I devoted to having a brighter future.
I came back to my house at around 8pm in the evening. It was a nice and cosy place to live in. I think this is a perfect place for my parents to live when they are all retired: quiet, clean, the supermarket is nearby... I shall invite my friends to come by someday. My schedule now is quite tight. I can hardly breathe. ac ac. I am suffocating :)).
I visited my grandparents yesterday. They are all well and happy. It is getting slightly colder these recent days. However, I can't help but noticing that wearing long pants with long-sleeved shirt is burning me. So i always end up putting on t-shirt, long pants, slippers with no socks. I feel so comfortable to be home again. But usually I will go out with my gf tomorrow but this time it is not possible. Haizzz. 6 more months to go.
Let's talk about something else. My parents invited a Hungarian couple out for a lunch. To return their favor, I invited my cousin to have lunch with me and my parents. We enjoyed the meal slowly and went out of the restaurant with a full and firm stomach. We joked around about our future: " If our family can invite each other out for this kind of luxurious dinner sometimes, it means we are earning big money". haha. Now I still wonder and admire the way my parents get the money. I am proud of them and I won't hesitate to tell everyone that I have successful parents. Unfortunately, there will obviously more burden on my shoulders and pressure on my chest: to be at least as good as them. haha
I went back to my old secondary school yesterday. It was some kind of a prom, but for the teachers only. Yup. You know what I'm talking about. TEACHER'S DAY CELEBRATION. The schoolyard was filled with tables and chairs. Beers, cakes and flowered displayed on the each tables magnificently. The stunningly long wire of colored lightbulb was hung from trees to trees, reminding me of Christmas. Everyone dressed nicely and formally. All of the sudden, all the teachers seemed to come to school with a young face and worry-free mind.
I dressed quite formally. The fact that I put on a pair of leather shoes already drew a picture of how formal I was yesterday. Black pants, white shirts. Typical for a students. Actually my cousin would perform there in the evening so I wanted to go there to see how confident he was (As the matter of fact, he stood at the back, covered by his big classmate - unknown gender - lip-synched... =.= ). I met a few teachers. I was surprised that they remembered me. Oh. I met an student alumnus who graduated 7 years ago. He works for construction company. It was nice to meet him. It was a great chance for me to network. I also ran into a German man. He said he lived in the hotel nearby and he got curious by the noise coming from my school. So he went inside and took a few pictures (I noticed he only took pictures of girls ^.~. My observation might be wrong. Hopefully). Anyway, he lived in a town 80km from Frankfurt, to the south. He went to Hanoi to work in a 10-day course. So yesterday I met 2 people who I did not know. Quite fun. You made yourself happy when no one you know was around :)). haha
I just update about my past couple of days. Hope everyone is still well. I am waiting for my gf to come online now. Damn it. where is she?
See you soon
Saturday 01/11
I got up at 7am in the morning to have my usual breakfast. It was raining heavily. Actually this morning i woke up not because of the irritator cell phone but because of the rain. It actually wetted my face. Damn. I almost suffocated. (jk). Anyway, I headed to the dining hall, took a few loaves of bread, a cup of milo and enjoyed sitting under the rain-free hall. I always liked the feeling of sitting in a closed and cosy room and stared at the window that was heavily hit by the raindrops. The water dribbled on the glass surface reminded me of a person who skied. It was slightly chilling this morning. Love it.
Then I went to school for ISL meeting. It took the entire morning. Not much to mention about except for some personal reflections on the way back home. I wish I could be pushed into a situation that I had to work harder and had a chance to really take charge of something. I know it is not easy to gain trust from people and even more troublesome to handle a real work. Nonetheless, I have a tendency to be stone around those who are active. I have no idea why but it seems difficult to come up with an idea or think of anything else to do. Haizzz. All of the sudden, I think these things are of paramount importance in term of shaping a real independent man. I don't want to be a man who have to rely on anybody (this is different from working in a group and in a team). Just imagine how can I be a good husband when everything I have to call my wife and I can't even make a decision for my family. I seriously don't want to be that kind of man. This not only applies to family but workplace as well. Dude! Imagine you are a one who receive order and carry out insignificant works. Nope. Sorry but it is not me. I want more than that. At least I can support my family. Lesson learnt: family comes first ( I got this idea from a movie. Please don't laugh at this. It struck me really hard in my heart).
ok, let's just get rid of these thoughts. This is a result of having nothing to do and no earphone to listen to my iPod. Let's move on. Today Hieu left. Quite sad. Just imagine when Quyen and Minh go for OBS. The room will be so empty and I can't hear any lame stuffs from Hieu. I miss it. Next week it will be hard for us to have the kind of gathering that lasted till early morning or playing games together. Oh. Talk about gathering. I remember yesterday when we played cards. I dont know but I have a strange feeling that I am suck at everything. i mean there should be something that I am best at among my friends but I found none. Sport: dont talk about it. I ain't good at anything, I just like playing sport. Study: whoa, are you kidding me? let me think of something else. Work: erhhhh... Games: I suckkkkk. seriously, is there anything on this Earth that i can be proud of myself. Minesweepers? oh, come on, you gotta be kidding me. :)). However, it may sound negative but i ain't that kind of person. I will learn to become better. It takes time. Everyone has to go through the same process. It is only about when you start doing it ;). I am clearly positive about it. (oh, can someone give me a hug :(( ).
I am chatting with my gf now.
Enough for reflection. Things will get better.
Sleep tight, everyone
Dont let the bed bugs bite.
I woke up with my eyes still sticked together when my alarm clock struck at 6.45 am. As usual, I turned it off, gazed to the view beyond the windowpane. Everything was dyed with a strange blue color and it did have an effect on pulling down my mood. I knew all along that IP2 would be ended soon but it moved so fast that I did not even able to grasp much. I left my bed and reached for my uniform hung on the chair. As I got my hand on the uniform shirt, I suddenly realized that I was not going to touch it for a long time. Leaving those thoughts behind, I put it on and went to the bathroom and started my day.
I got my GPA today. When ms Yang said she would return the GPA' s sheet to everyone, my heart humped vigorously in my chest. Even though I already did some calculations about but I was still scared that my real mark was below my expectation. If that happened, I would be greatly disappointed. My name was called. I caught a site of the green paper. oh, so it was as I expected, even higher. 4.12 for semester 2 and 3.82 overall. The only thing that I was proud of myself was that if I did not calculate wrongly or in other word, I did not make a seriously big mistake in calculation, I was in top 5 of the cohort for semester 2 ONLY. It was not something that was announced publicly but it was worth a pat on my shoulder wasn't it? I would start throwing away unnecessary thing soon. I really needed to learn how to get my stuff neat and tidy.
I went out for lunch with a couple of friends - close friends. Bukit Timah foodcourt. I had to admit that i sucked at choosing food in a foodcourt. I could never get a dish that satisfied me. The carrot cake dish was as good as hell. I really made me throw up. It tasted like feet. LESSON learnt: always go with someone to pick up a dish when you are in a food court. I must remember this. But the sugar cane juice was not so bad. It tasted as heaven ( the word "heaven" made me think of Green tea "heaven and earth", which I begged to differ. It should be "hell and nothing else" ). But i loved the part when we wandered around in between the buildings. Lots of jokes came up, i did not manage to remember one. At 1.15, I hit the school, waited for my CCA.
CCA was awesome. I made some jokes. Captain ball was fun (expect for that fact that my finger got hurt. It now looks like a smaller-in-length middle finger). I could not even type with that finger anymore. It was always fun to come down for CCA.
Today i had a long chat with Hieu and Daisy. It was comfortable and really interesting. I could not recall about what we talked but it was fascinating enough to not get me off the chair.
I will watch "friends" and read some books today. Nothing can't stop me from doing that. I love today and I would love to record it down in this blog. catch everyone later.
P.S during assembly today, most of the people shrugged. I was glad.
Today is the unofficial last lesson of IP life. There will be no more lessons except for returning the papers, having some hell kinds of lecture about Subject combination and preparing for the Open Day. Technically we won't be "taught" till next year. A sigh of relief and a pat on the shoulder would be a pleasant gift for yourself.
Congratulate everyone for finishing the assessment week.
Let's talk about today.
The bio paper wasn't so difficult but the questions came up were not as I expected. It took me about three quarters of the time to finish. As I looked up, some had already laid their faces on the plastic table. Everything ended with the usual phrase "stop writing..." . It was strange that the class did not make any attempt to scream or shout or even just a normal "who hoo!". Anyway, though there is one more paper for me but let us call it a day.
Oh, i just remember, my junior today approached me with a smiling face and said "h5, assessment week is over". I replied calmly "well, my IP2 is over"...
After the waate-of=time talk in LT3, we got a class outing. At first i did not really want to go because they would probably go shopping and having lunch while there was another group of guys going for LAN. Quite tempting to be honest. But well, I decided to make up my mind and went for the outing because IP05 was not something that I dislike.
It started with a lunch at a damn expensive place. I was quite pissed because i preferred food court where the price was cheaper and the food was even much nicer. So I ended up having an egg sandwich and I forced myself to drink lots of water to cover for the hunger that drove me crazy in my stomach. Suddenly it rained. Big enough to make myself wet in few seconds. While waiting for the rain to stop, we had a glance at some music CDs at HVM. I listened to the "Mama mia's soundtrack". They were all ABBA songs. I loved it. It helped me feel better and be less frustrated.
Here come the movie. "Eagle eye". Advertisement said " in cinema Oct 1". Today was 30th Sep.
Oh wait, before we watched the movie, we had a lot of fun playing arcade and 1 round of pool. Leonard was so serious in playing pool. I enjoyed it and due to some once-in-a-lifetime luck, every time I hit the ball, I scored. Did not miss any single shot. Quite amazed. Love it...
The movie started with a cup of coke next to my lap and a big chunk of popcorn (short form "porn") on my hand. I did not eat much but Leonard and Hieu kept telling me not to give it to them or they would finish it way before the movie started. During the movie, I transformed into a bridge which transported the popcorn from Hieu and Leo and from Leo to Hieu. The movie was great. It talked about a man-made machine which was able to think controlled over the entire America and every single electronic system in the country for example phone line, internet, computer. Even the Pentagon was monitored by it. The machine did not make any single mistakes in calculation and executing the plan. Great movie for this weekend. Everyone should have a look at it.
After getting back from the fiction, we walked to wisma atria to "HAVE DINNER". I was so angry with the way people went out for an outing. Hieu told me that at the end of the day, all of them did not dare to talk to me. They had to tell Hieu to tell me that they wanted to say goodbye and thanked for coming. I did not know about it but I was really frustrated. By the way, sorry for that. There are certain things I can't control.
Sincerely apologize for my behavior. It was not a good thing to do. Hope I did not ruin everyone's day.
Just finished having a big bowl of rice with fish.
Happy holiday and congratulate for finishing the exam.
Have a rest. Sigh of relief and a pat on your shoulder. You guys deserve it
My first blog in blogger...
I had a difficult time figuring out how to utilize this blog. it was so complicated as compared to my old one (which was Yahoo!360). Now I am still stuck at adding buddies into my friend list. I think I need to ask someone tomorrow or I will end up reading my own stuff over and over again.
I decided to use this simply because everyone uses this. So i just asked myself "why not give it a try?". Oh, I just found out that this thing can give us info about news, sport, even weather. Hum, it seems to be more useful than the my old one. And you can add friends by simply adding the URLs. pretty cool, isnt it? I really think that I am having a conversation with myself now. haha. never mind, it is just a start. Things will get better over time, wont they?
Tmr is another Math paper. I dunno but I seem to lose my confidence in every paper. I am just afraid that I will encounter some difficult questions and end up losing some marks... Anyway, the last 2 papers. Hope it will be satisfactory and I sincerely want my Ip2's year to be fruitful and something that I can be proud of before entering a new era - JC.
I need to figure out how to add friends so they can start reading my blogs. It has been a long time since the last time I had my own blog. I have been sharing with someone else. Writing out what you feel is a good way to improve your English. I heard that from someone...
Have a nice visit to my blog
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